i didn’t know this was even possible, but apparently i am too pale for spray tan. today, i sacrificed my lunch break and went to “sun tan city” for the first time in (UV-free) lightyears to get all bronzed up for our impending trip to sunny california only to realize exactly 4 hours later that…NOTHING HAPPENED. i’m still 12 shades of translucent. and to top it off, i freaking forgot to use barrier cream on my feet—it had been that long—so i’m probably going to look like an oompa loompa from the ankle down.
i’m going to be the whitest, most flat-chested person in hollywood (tied with Kate Hudson who is invariably one of the hottest people alive and doesn’t count).
maybe pale and flat are the new hot? yes?? no?
t minus 3 days until i blind innocent LA bystanders. i can’t flippin’ wait!